How Identity Has Influenced An Independent Media Professional's Career

Being a trans woman in this field is something I don't take lightly because I live life, I'm out in the world. I don't see many other trans folks, let alone trans women, in this position very often. A goal of mine is to really tear down the barriers that keep people from doing this type of work professionally if they want to.

It's not something I put away ever. Granted, there are days when, if someone is interacting with me at an event I'm working, they might not understand that I'm trans. They might understand I'm a woman. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Navigating that ambiguity can be pretty stressful.

It's also stressful when I don't understand people's intentions or how they feel. Sometimes people will pretend they're safe to be around, and then they say something deeply inappropriate. This has happened on multiple occasions because of my trans identity, making work situations really uncomfortable.

Most recently, someone contacted me after a photo session with an animal he had, asking if I wanted to do OnlyFans photos. I was fine with that; I respect sex work and am happy to help. But then he asked if I wanted to be in the photos with him. I told him, "No, that's not where I'm at." That's not within my comfort zone or acceptable to ask someone you're soliciting for a professional service. He hasn't contacted me since.

A few months ago, or maybe last year, I was covering a wedding for a queer couple. They were both cisgender. I often carpool with people at weddings to get moments from the family's perspective. I was sitting with this man and his two young sons, about 12 and 13, in the backseat. Out of nowhere, he started asking me incredibly personal questions about my sex life, my genitalia, and so on.

I thought, "The day is just starting, why are you doing this to me?" In those situations, it's hard because I don't want to just react calmly and be chill. If he does that to another trans person, I'm failing them by creating an expectation that it's okay to ask certain things. But I can't go off on him and explain why that's so inappropriate.

First, I have a job to do. Second, I risk getting hurt, or at the very least, losing income. This is difficult because I plan my finances around the work I get booked for.

Interacting with other photographers is also challenging. Photography is a very male-dominated field, especially in industries like entertainment. Entertainment isn't my goal, but it's the work available to me right now that pays bills. Many of those guys are rough to be around.

I want to continue showing up and bolstering myself, figuring out how to thrive in this industry. I want to show other trans folks, other trans women, how to thrive here as well. This means not only earning income to live but also having something that sustains them enough to be of service to efforts that advance justice.

Whether that's through community-based organizations or grassroots organizing, it's possible to work for yourself and serve the world and the people you care about in that way. Being trans, by living as my true self, is already a rejection of the world that was handed to me. Because of that, I feel I can see through a lot of the nonsense.

That's where I was coming from when I talked about my corporate job at the marketing agency. It was soul-crushing; I couldn't get into it because I knew what it did and what purpose it served the machine. I couldn't be a part of that.

Taking my own clients and making my own decisions means I have to make compromises and understand what I'm signing off on. I need to know what it means and what I have to do to rectify things or show up for the people who deserve it more afterward.

I'm so grateful because it's easy for a photographer to think of themselves as the one to do it all, the one to save the day, to document and capture everything. This colonial language is something I can't stand by.

Being out as trans, by embracing that part of myself, allows me to have a critical life. Because I have a critical life, I can have a critical career and make decisions aligned with my values. I'm not just doing whatever it takes to get by or taking any job because I need it.

I'm so grateful to be trans, to be a trans woman, and to do this work as a trans woman. I wouldn't change a thing about how my life has played out. I just want to keep on rocking and keep going.