How Identity Has Influenced a Director of Product Marketing's Career at Meta Inc.

I've thought about this in two different ways. One is how I show up as an individual, and the other is how I guide people now that I'm in a formal management and coaching role. I believe these two aspects are distinct and important.

When I started my career, I noticed that different language was used for men and women, especially in performance reviews. I remember receiving a review that described me as "talkative" and "bossy." This was early in the company's history, before we had even gone public.

However, some of my male colleagues received reviews that described them as "authoritative" and as demonstrating "leadership conviction." Hearing these different approaches based on feedback was difficult to reconcile. It also changed how I influenced and showed up in conversations.

Now, I'm mindful if my voice becomes too shrill or if I get too passionate. I need to take a step back and moderate myself, as that can be misinterpreted. I find myself catching my own behavior.

There's also much better coaching in the workforce now than 13 years ago. People are generally more aware of these issues, but that doesn't mean they don't happen. I try to catch myself in the moment and also call out differences in perspective, behavior, or treatment when I hear them. If you don't see it and address it, it will continue.

That's how I approach it as an individual woman in the workplace. Then there's the element of how I show up as a manager and coach. I think about this in two ways.

First, you have to give constructive feedback to every single person on your team, regardless of their gender or how they present themselves. I see feedback as an opportunity to improve someone's career. If a certain behavior is holding them back, I want to address it in a way that is appreciative of the feedback and lands in the right context.

For example, if a woman is taking a leadership role, give her feedback about being a leader, not about being bossy. There are ways to deliver feedback to set her up for success. Giving constructive feedback in general is very important.

The second aspect is coaching my teams by leaning into psychological safety. People need to feel they can be their authentic selves in a team environment and be supported. If you're feeling emotional because of something in your personal life, you shouldn't feel you have to put on a certain front.

I'm personally open with my team about what I'm going through. Most recently, I'm going through IVF, which is an emotional process. If I'm not feeling 100%, I want to lead by example and talk about it with them. I believe this creates psychological safety, making others feel they can be real when they're going through things. It allows us to support each other and build a stronger foundation.

So that's how I think about it, both from an individual perspective and from the perspective of coaching and managing my team.